I belong....

I did not grow up a believer and come from a family where many live their lives for themselves and not for the Lord.  I have been asked and know that many wonder how I can praise God through all I have been through.  How can you praise Jesus even though you have been abused, lost a husband to drunk driving, lost your mother to cancer, never knew your father, and then lost your first born and only son to suicide?  This question still amazes me.  How could I not?  I honestly don’t think I could have ever survived these things without Jesus.  Because of the love I have in my heart and the Holy Spirit in me, there are no circumstances that could possibly ever change who I forever am in Christ.  Maybe since my life was changed after accepting Christ into my heart and life long before I had to deal with the devastating loss of my son….it never has crossed my mind to turn my back on the only Lord who has been there for me through it all.  Turn my back on or deny the Lord who gives me strength and peace that passes all understanding?  Instead, I praise Jesus and draw closer during this time.  I have lived without Jesus and know what that is like and don’t ever want to be in that position again.  Jesus brings me joy and peace and the chance to be free from my past mistakes.  Nobody else can offer me that!  I am not going to lie, I don’t understand why I have to experience so much pain and loss in one lifetime.  It’s hard and it hurts down to the core, but I know that my trust and faith through it all will bring glory to God.  I will take the pain as long as I can praise Jesus through it all.  Regardless of what happens, I will always belong to Jesus.