Life is short - Guard your heart

Life is short.  I have experienced more loss in my life then I could ever imagine.  Since losing my mom, three years ago; my son, Tommy, almost two years ago; and then our “other son”, Keegan almost a year ago my priorities and relationships have changed dramatically.   I do not and will not waste my time with people who are rude, mean, and hurtful.  At all odds I protect myself and my family from people like this in our life.  We are fragile and will continue to be for a long time because of what we have been through and the deep grief we feel. 

Believe it or not there are a lot of selfish people in the world that don’t care or make time for you even though they call themselves family or friends.  There are also family and friends who can’t let go of things in the past and continue to try and hurt you or cause drama because they have nothing better to do with their time.  I don’t have time for that nor do I or anyone else in my family deserve that.  I don’t hate those people and I would never be rude to them in return, but I will avoid them like the plague to protect myself and my family.  What I have learned is that if you allow yourself to be around people who are toxic, full of drama, and bad influence it will affect you negatively whether you are a part of it or not, just being around it can cause unseen damage.  We all have enough drama, pain, and hurt in our lives we don’t need to add to it by feeling like we have to be in relationships with individuals just because they are family and/or a “friend”. 

What is a family or friend in my book?  It’s someone who is always there for you and makes time for you because you are important to them.  It’s someone who treats you the same no matter who else they are around.  It’s someone who doesn’t judge, always listens, and loves you unconditionally.  It’s someone whom you can trust and who trusts you.  It’s someone who includes you in their lives and wants to be a part of yours.  It’s someone who would drop anything at any time to be there in a crisis and stand by your side through it all.  It’s someone who will always have your back and not allow others to speak of you negatively.  It’s someone who when your around they want to be around you just as much. 

Death has changed me.  Experiencing five major losses in 5 years can do that to a person; to a family.  Our hearts have grown in humility for those who are broken, hurting, and emotionally and mentally struggling.  Our thoughts and words have become tenderer, thoughtful, understanding, and patient.  Our eyes have become more open, honest, and searching for the signs arounds us.  Although we are called to LOVE everyone as Jesus loved us, we also need to guard our hearts from those whose selfish ambitions and hurtful words can cause us or our family harm.

Words

I watch the world around me and the words that are said and it breaks my heart.  I don’t think people realize how important the words we speak are.  Our words can speak light into someone’s life or darkness into their soul.  Our words can literally mean life or death to someone.  In Proverbs it states that death and life are in the power of the tongue.  All it takes is saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to push a person over the edge they may be standing on.  It happens every day.  And we have no idea what is going on in someone else’s life at any point in time. 

In Proverbs 15:4 we are told, “Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”  If we allow words of encouragement to leave our lips it heals the one who receives it, but if we speak deceitful or hurtful words they break the spirit of the one who receives it.  Do we really want to break the spirit of our loved ones?  Do we want to break the spirit of a grieving parent?  Do we want to break the spirit of an individual with a physical disability or mental handicap?  Our words can lift a person up or bring them down to the ground in an instance. 

What would happen if the only words we spoke were encouraging words of life, hope, and truth?  What if the only words we spoke were the words of love, empathy, and grace?  Some people speak words just to hear themselves speak, but their words lack meaning and intent.  When we choose to speak love to inspire others we can make an incredible difference in the world.  Words of life is an act of compassion and love.  When we look into the eyes of the broken, the lost, and lonely hearted and speak life and love into them, it will make a change in not only their life, but your own.  Ephesians 4:29 tells us, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

We all know there are so many broken people in the world.  Every day people around us are struggling in their marriage, in their finances, in their jobs, in so many aspects of their lives.  Why don’t we make a choice to show LOVE, EMPATHY, and COMPASSION to those around us?  What do I mean by this?  I mean slow down…don’t cut someone off, don’t scream or say choice words because the person in front of you is going too slow.  I mean be patient…when the person in line in front of you is writing a check instead of using cash or credit like the rest of the world.  I mean give recognition…. take time to express your gratitude and appreciation for those you work with instead of taking them for granted.  I mean be understanding….to others who don’t think or live like you do or have a different way of doing things. 

I see so many times where people feel they have a right to criticize, shame, and blame others like it’s their responsibility or duty.  No one has the right to do that.  Like I have said so many times before, we blame and shame ourselves enough that we don’t need others doing it for us. 

We all need to learn to love others for who they are and where they are at in their life.  Judge Less and Love More.  Most importantly, use words that build up and bring light instead of those that bring darkness and pain.