Thursday, June 30, 2016

Life is short - Guard your heart


Life is short.  I have experienced more loss in my life then I could ever imagine.  Since losing my mom, three years ago; my son, Tommy, almost two years ago; and then our “other son”, Keegan almost a year ago my priorities and relationships have changed dramatically.   I do not and will not waste my time with people who are rude, mean, and hurtful.  At all odds I protect myself and my family from people like this in our life.  We are fragile and will continue to be for a long time because of what we have been through and the deep grief we feel. 

Believe it or not there are a lot of selfish people in the world that don’t care or make time for you even though they call themselves family or friends.  There are also family and friends who can’t let go of things in the past and continue to try and hurt you or cause drama because they have nothing better to do with their time.  I don’t have time for that nor do I or anyone else in my family deserve that.  I don’t hate those people and I would never be rude to them in return, but I will avoid them like the plague to protect myself and my family.  What I have learned is that if you allow yourself to be around people who are toxic, full of drama, and bad influence it will affect you negatively whether you are a part of it or not, just being around it can cause unseen damage.  We all have enough drama, pain, and hurt in our lives we don’t need to add to it by feeling like we have to be in relationships with individuals just because they are family and/or a “friend”. 

What is a family or friend in my book?  It’s someone who is always there for you and makes time for you because you are important to them.  It’s someone who treats you the same no matter who else they are around.  It’s someone who doesn’t judge, always listens, and loves you unconditionally.  It’s someone whom you can trust and who trusts you.  It’s someone who includes you in their lives and wants to be a part of yours.  It’s someone who would drop anything at any time to be there in a crisis and stand by your side through it all.  It’s someone who will always have your back and not allow others to speak of you negatively.  It’s someone who when your around they want to be around you just as much. 

Death has changed me.  Experiencing five major losses in 5 years can do that to a person; to a family.  Our hearts have grown in humility for those who are broken, hurting, and emotionally and mentally struggling.  Our thoughts and words have become tenderer, thoughtful, understanding, and patient.  Our eyes have become more open, honest, and searching for the signs arounds us.  Although we are called to LOVE everyone as Jesus loved us, we also need to guard our hearts from those whose selfish ambitions and hurtful words can cause us or our family harm.

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