One Month

I can't believe it's been one month since my boy took his life.  Some days it feels like it's been an eternity and other days it feels like it was just yesterday.  I miss him so much and wish I could touch his face and hug him tight.  So many people have asked what can I do for you?  I don't know how to respond because in all honestly there is nothing anyone can do to make this any easier or any less painful.  The support has been overwhelming and very much appreciated but my heart aches so deeply.  It's so incredibly hard to go through every day seeing people living life, laughing, planning, ect when it feels like my world has stopped and each day it is a huge struggle just to get up.  Somedays it takes everything I have just to breath.  We try to remain focused on the positives and move forward but its hard when there are so many questions that remain. I know those answers won't change anything so I try not to let them over take my thoughts.  I keep focusing on the blessings that have come out of this horrible event.  I know that my God has his arms around me and is carrying me because if he were not I would be a mess on the floor.  I would do anything to change that day and have him here.  The only thing that gives me peace is that I know I will see him again someday and be able to hold him tight.