We don't have "issues"....

Recently someone referred to our family's last year as dealing with "issues".  We are not dealing with issues.  We lost our son.  We lost our brother.  We lost a piece of our family.  We are grieving.  We are hurting.  We are struggling.  We are becoming a new version of us because life is never the same after a loved one dies.  We are healing and learning to adapt through the aftershock of death.

I am not sure if the reason they referred to our journey as "issues" was because they were unsure of how to address what we have been through to a crowd of people or because they were afraid to talk about it openly.  Our tendency in society is to not talk openly about the things we are not comfortable with.  For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open (Mark 4:22) The hard truth is we lost our son/brother to depression by suicide.  We never saw it coming.  We never expected or had any signs that was ever an option for our loved one.  We are not dealing with issues, we are dealing with real life, with real struggles and trials.  We are dealing with deep pain and grief.  I know it is difficult for people who haven't experienced it themselves to understand or verbalize what it is.  This is why more people should take the time to really listen to someone who is going through a difficult circumstance or loss.  Each person grieves differently depending on who it is they lost and their relationship with that person.  Grieving is an individual process, and not two people will experience it the same way.

"Sometimes allowing yourself to cry is the scariest thing you'll ever do.  And the bravest.  It takes a lot of courage to face the facts, stare loss in the face, bare your heart, and let it bleed.  But it is the only way to cleans your wounds and prepare them for healing.  God will take care of the rest."

 If you know someone who is experiencing a loss or has experienced a loss of someone close to them, take the time to understand their journey and understand their pain.  Don't refer to their pain and grief as issues but instead show compassion and understanding by carving out time to listen and support them and really understand all that they are going through.  Compassion and understanding goes a long way.  Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  (Col 3:12)