Because you loved me....

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with my son Tommy.  That day my life forever changed because I had someone to live for, someone to do better for.  I knew at that time that I wanted to be a better mother then I had.  I wanted to give my child more love and opportunities then I ever had.  My whole world changed, my entire focus changed, and nothing matter to me more than my child. Tommy brought more love and joy to my heart then I ever thought possible.  From the moment he was born his smile captured my heart.  He was always such a loving boy and cared about everyone.  Although he grew into a man whose anxiety made it difficult for him to deal with people or open up about his feelings, he still had his moments where you saw just how deeply he cared and loved others.  Because of my son, I learned what true love was.  I understood what it meant to put someone else’s needs above your own.  I can’t imagine what my life would have become had I not had him to cling onto.  I have never and will never regret one moment I had with my son, even the really hard times.  He taught me patience, he taught me sacrifice, and he taught me that when you truly love someone you always stick by their side not matter the circumstances.  Tommy brought the best out of me and showed me who I was meant to be.  God blessed me with a child who forever changed my heart and life.  My son made my life worth living and because of his love I got through some very difficult times.  I honestly have no idea how to go on living without him and it hurts so deeply sometimes that I don’t know if it will ever end.  However, God also blessed me with a beautiful daughter and she is the reason I continue on.   I trust God’s promise to make beauty out of ashes.  He plans to turn the ruins I am living into some type of beautiful structure and every day is a day closer to seeing my boys smile again.