Dear School Board Members:
My name is Mrs. Xavier Whitford. I am the Vice President of the Mental Health
Board of Rock River Valley and live in the Harlem School District. I have a child attending Rockford Christian
High School, work full-time for City of Rockford (Rockford School District 205)
and my husband is a Youth Pastor in Belvidere School District. As a family we care about and represent
several local school districts.
I would like to talk to you all about suicide. Suicide is not an easy topic to talk about,
but it is one that must be addressed and you as school board members have an
obligation to the students in your district since many of their parents voted
for you.
I speak from personal experience, as I lost my 19 year old
son Tommy in August of 2014 after he hung himself. Although he was able to graduate high school
a year late, he struggled through his school years because of his
depression. We knew our son Tommy was
suffering emotionally. He was diagnosed
with depression and anxiety in middle school.
We got him into counseling, and through his doctor, were trying to find
medications to help, but had not found one that provided the desired results.
Eventually, he began to self-medicate and withdraw from sports, friends, and
family. He was quickly labeled a
“troubled teen” because of his choices.
We, as parents, remained supportive and active in his life as much as we
could. Unfortunately, we never realized
how very serious his depression was and never knew that suicide was even
something he considered. Since Tommy’s
death, I have talked to many other parents who lost children to suicide and much
like us, the most common threads in stories were “we never saw it coming” or
“we had no idea our child was suicidal” and “they were always smiling and
seemed happy”.
To many it may seem surprising that we as parents were in
the dark about our children, and it is easy to dismiss parents as neglectful,
but one thing I have learned over the years is that kids are really good at
hiding things, especially when it comes to their mental health. Students in class rooms across the country,
including your district suffer in silence.
They know something is wrong with them but they don’t know what or they
have been diagnosed with a mental illness but don’t understand what it means. They feel, when they look at their classmates,
like they are the only one that feels the way they do, but that’s not the case. Students fear saying anything about how they
feel because they don’t want to be humiliated, labeled, or judged by their
peers and they don’t want to talk to their parents, teachers, or counselors for
the same reasons.
I want to provide you with some alarming data you may or may
not be aware of:
- Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for ages 10-24 year olds. (CDC)
- There is one death by suicide in US every 13 minutes. (CDC)
- 16% of students reported seriously considered suicide. (CDC)
- 13% of students reported creating a plan. (CDC)
- 1 in 5 ages 13-18 have, or will have a serious mental illness. (NAMI)
- Approximately 50% of students age 14 and older with a mental illness drop out of high school. (NAMI)
In addition, according to the American Foundation for
Suicide Prevention (AFSP), “At least 90% of all people who died by suicide were
suffering from a mental illness at the time, most often depression.” Many with depression have intense emotional
states such as hopelessness, anxiety, or rage which increases the risk of
suicide. People who are impulsive or use
alcohol and/or drugs are also higher risk.
Students who have been a victim of bullying are twice as likely to take
their life by suicide. If you walk into
almost any middle school or high school in your district you will find students
that fit that description.
In my son Tommy’s Rockford Christian class alone three lives
have been lost to suicide over the last three years and I have heard of at
least 4 more in our County alone.
Through my community outreach I have been fortunate to talk to many
parents who all feel that more can, and should be done to educate not only
students, but parents and staff too.
Most parents have been raised to not speak of such things and that needs
to change. Just like the students,
parents look around and think they are the only ones struggling the way they
are because no one is willing to talk about it.
So what can you as a school board do? In 2007, The Jason Flatt Act was first passed
in Tennessee and became the nation’s most inclusive and mandatory youth suicide
awareness and prevention legislation pertaining to Teacher’s In-Service
Training. It required all educators in the state to complete 2 hours of youth
suicide awareness and prevention training each year in order to be able to be
licensed to teach in Tennessee. In 2010,
The State of Illinois passed The Jason Flatt Act. It is important that if not already doing so,
that our school districts follow and implement this law. Even if there was no state law, what would
stop you from implementing a policy for your district? You could bring in experts from the community
to speak to the students, parents, staff, and faculty. You can enact programs designed to give
students a safe place to go where they can talk openly about their emotions
with other peers who can understand. We have
the first of such type of group established at Harlem Middle School modeled off
of Group Hope (www.grouphope.org) which
started last year. I would be happy to
share more about that group and how it is helping the students attending.
I have presented quite a lot for you to think about. I know some on the board and in the community
will disagree and feel it is the parent’s responsibility to deal with the issue
of suicide. I hope that you all do the
right thing and prove them wrong. If we
do not do more to help and support our students suffering with depression,
anxiety, and other mental and emotional struggles, they may not be here to
teach in the future. Doing nothing is no
longer an option.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Xavier Whitford
