The reality of Mother’s Day this year……

Mother’s Day this year will be the first of which I have to go through without my son Tommy and the second without my mom.  I won’t hear my son say “Happy Mother’s Day” or “I love you mom”.  I won’t receive the funny cards and the hand written notes of affection he would give me.  I won’t get to spend the day with my two children and appreciate how blessed I am to have them both in my life.  As a mother who is grieving a child, Mother’s Day will require a large amount of strength and patience as I encounter others who don’t know what to say and who often say the wrong things.  This grief is something that no one should have to bear and difficult for anyone to understand who hasn’t gone through it themselves.  As child who has a mother no longer living it will be very hard to see others enjoying their mothers while I am not only grieving my mother but also my son.  It’s all incredibly unfair and heartbreaking but I know to get through it all I have to focus on the blessings I have in front of me.  To celebrate both my mother and Tommy on this special day by speaking their names and keeping their memories alive in everything we do.  The truth is I will always love my son and I will always be his mother. 

This is a poem that I find comfort in.......

Last night while I was trying to sleep,

 My son's voice I did hear,

 I opened my eyes and looked around

 But he did not appear.

 He said, "Mom, you've got to listen,

 You've got to understand,

 God didn't take me from you, mom,

 He only took my hand.

 When I called out in pain that day,

 The moment that I died,

 He reached down and took my hand,

 And pulled me to His side.

 He pulled me up and saved me

 From the misery and pain.

 My body was hurt so badly,

 I could never be the same.

 My search is really over now,

 I've found happiness within,

 All the answers to my empty dreams

 And all that might have been.

 I love you all and miss you so,

 And I'll always be nearby.

 My body's gone forever,

 But my spirit will never die.

 And so, you must all go on now,

 And live, and understand...

 God did not take me from you,

 He only took my hand."

 -Author Unknown