You are free

No one should have to suffer the pain and loss of a child.  I still have days where it feels so unreal that my son is gone and I will not be able to touch or hold him again.  Being a mother who has lost her child is one of the most excrutiating things for a mother to experience.  I have experienced a saddness so deep that the darkness sometimes comes close to comsuming me.  I have experienced horrible thoughts and despair BUT I have also learned the true meaning of grace, love, humility, healing and forgiveness.  I have discovered a deep passion for helping others along this journey.  I know that this journey will last a lifetime and the pain will never fully go away, but in time I will learn to be happy again.  Someday the chest crushing ache will change and I will be able to breath again.  The grief is so real and heartbreaking but slowly moment by moment the dark is turning to light.  In those moments I hear your name or a memory comes flooding back and it steals my breath away I will remember your smile and the love you shared with us.  I want my heart to shine with the light of your love for all to see.  You are gone to soon my precious boy but at least I know you are free.